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ALETHEA
: OUR NOVEMBER 2002 INTERVIEWEE |
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Alethea Leprette, age 29. I
am south African and I have living in France since June 1998 |
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Was it difficult to be
pregnant in France far from home and from your family? |
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In the beginning with my
first pregnancy in 2000 my French was nothing to write home about
and I needed to have my husband accompany me to the doctor just to
be sure to understand the doctor's explanations, I was unable to
answer much of his questions as I was not at all familiar with the
medical terminology Being far away from south Africa was not much
of a problem as I have been living in Germany for several years
before moving to France. My second pregnancy was thus not as hard
to follow.. |
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Did you choose to be
followed by a gynaecologist or by a mid-wife? |
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I
chose to be followed by a Gynaecologist. I was then advised by
my doctor to attend the birth preparation classes given by a mid-wife
within the medical center. |
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Could you tell us how
you choose your maternity hospital or clinic? Did you visit some
delivery rooms? Was there a unit for prem.? |
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When I first moved to
L`Isle Jourdain, 36Km from Toulouse, I was surprised to find out that
there was one Gynaecologist in the village and that the nearest Clinic
was in Toulouse. I then just started asking pregnant women I saw in
the street or women with new born babies where and with whom they are
for their situation. Each and everyone of them told me about the
clinic Ambroise Paré in Toulouse.
The local mid-wife of my town also
gave me the name of this clinic and some names of the best doctors. I
called the clinic, told them about my situation; being 8 months
pregnant and with no doctor. The names of the doctors I was
recommended to were fully booked and I got lucky getting a nice Doctor
who immediately gave me an appointment. |
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Did you follow the
French programme " accouchement sans douleur" which is
several courses about childbirth. The courses are given by a mid-wife
and the aim is to demystify the delivery and to explain how to breathe
during the labor.... |
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Yes.
I followed these classes. |
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Did your husband
attend the courses? |
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No, never
had then time and he was too shy to be the only man among 5 other
pot-bellied women! |
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Where did you deliver?
How did you find the staff? Did the staff try to speak slowly to help
you understand them? |
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I was at the clinic
AMBROISE PARE. The staff was charming and very attentive to my
requests and some of my fears. My accent gives me away for not being
French and when they had the feeling that I did not understand
something they explained in "simple French". |
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Could you narrate how
you went into labour : was it during the day or the night? Was your
partner panic or well-prepared? How did you feel ? Worried, afraid, or calm? |
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Well, since I
knew that I was going to have a C-section, I had none of the
spectacular water-breaking and calling my husband to speed home to
get me to the clinic!
I insisted with my doctor that he should
operate sooner than the due date as I could no longer stand all my
aches and pains. The date was organized. Yes I was nervous,
excited and afraid all at the same time. I knew that my daughter
was in a frank breech, with her legs apart even and this position
was hurting both me and her. With this thought and image of her in
my mind, I was impatient for her to be out. I worried for her that
she would have problems with her hips or something. |
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How long did the whole
labour last? Did your maternity hospital have a birthing pool? Did you
have the opportunity to bathe during the labour? |
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The operation lasted
an hour and my daughter was born within 20 minutes after they started.
I am not aware of a birthing pool in the clinic I was in. |
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What was the delivery
like? |
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It was great. The
doctor as well at the anaesthesist were in good moods and joked
around with my husband who was still very pale at the beginning.
They told him in which direction to aim falling in case he would
faint!
The anaesthesist explained everything to me, every
sensation I felt he explain in advance to assure me that
everything was fine. When he heard me speaking English to my
husband, he spoke in English to show that if I had doubts he would
explain in English too.
Now and then I felt emotional or went pale
and he would tell me not to worry and stroked my hand. He patted
my husband on the shoulder telling how good things were going and
he prepared us for the "fall of the curtain" when the
pulled out my daughter.
It was amazing as she had her eyes wide
open as if she were caught in an activity and was disturbed by us.
She was a little blue but the doctors immediately said it was
normal when they heard my concerned question. She held on to her
cord so tightly that they had to open her hand in order to let go.
All this was so over whelming that one could tell the by the heart
beats on my monitor going from fast to faster!! They took my
daughter shortly after she was shown to me and they, the doctors
were talking to me about south Africa whilst finishing "the
job". |
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Did you
deliver by a caesarean or by natural way? |
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The above
mentioned answers this question. Even though I must add that I
chose a c-section even before knowing that my daughter got herself
into the breech position and when the doctor told me that he would
have to do a C-section on me I actually felt relief.
My first
delivery was by C-section too as my son got himself into a
transversal position. One advice: never decide to move houses
during pregnancy, the children protest in funny ways even from in
the belly!!! |
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Did you
know you were waiting for a boy or a girl? |
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Yes, I knew that we
were going to have a girl. |
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Did your husband
attend the delivery? Did he cut the umbilical cord? Did he give the
baby her first bath just after the delivery? |
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Yes, he was there
holding my hand and telling jokes. He did not cut the cord , he
can barely stand the sight of blood, he did however, assist the
nurse with our daughter's first bath! |
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How long did you stay
at the hospital? |
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I stayed for 7 days |
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Did you breastfeed her? |
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I breastfed her
for 2 to 3 days then I decided to stop and put her on a bottle.
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How was your return at
home? |
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It was good to be
home. My mother-in law was still around and my husband had to go
back to work.
My son was being difficult as expected. My husband was and still
is so helpful and tries to be there for the children as often as
possible so I could have some time for myself. My daughter cries a
lot and this tired me down and made me very nervous and irritable.
It is much better now, but I had to realise that it simply takes
time for every member of the family to find his or her place. It
takes time to coordinate two children of such close ages. My son
needs me a lot and there has to be a lot of compromising. My
husband and I made it a "rule" that, even if the
children take up most of our time, we find and make time for
ourselves. It happens so fast that one is caught up being parents
and the couple we form grows apart due to the lack of time for
each other. I am sure that anyone with two or more children could
agree with this. Even with one child!!!
My son who at first did not accept his sister in the beginning is
now being an absolute angel and he is so gentle with her and tells
her the things I say to her when she cries or he would rock her to
sleep. I integrate him in many tasks like letting him give her a
tea bottle, or handing me the wet-ones when changing her nappy. He
loves pushing the stroller, but he does not like the idea that she
sleeps in our room.
Well, so much for my return at home. |
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What were the
reactions of your both families? Did they come to see you during your
pregnancy and after the delivery? Were they sad that you delivered
abroad? |
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My family
remained in south Africa, it being too far and costly for them to
come over for such a short period of time. My parents´ in law
were down south from Paris for the birth and my mother in law
stayed on for ten days to take care of my son aged 2 years.
My entire family, both that of my husband
and mine were sad that we were so far away. |
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Did you sometimes find
it difficult to be pregnant abroad , and in the Toulouse surroundings?
Did you sometimes feel alone? Did you miss home more during your
pregnancy or after the delivery? |
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Being pregnant abroad
was not the problem for me as I have been away from south Africa for
long already. My first pregnancy was better than my second. In Paris I
had friends and family whereas with my second pregnancy we moved to
the Toulouse area during my 8th month. I had to organise
the move, find the house, I had no friends and family around to help
me with my son or the packing. I felt very alone and having bad back
problems and a huge belly I often found myself stuck in my new house
with tons of boxes whilst my husband was at his new job. My son loved
being in his new garden with the dog. But I had little time or energy
for him. After the delivery it was not so easy neither as I hurt for
long and suddenly being a mom of two, a wife and finding the woman in
me was a bit much for me. |
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