I AM GOING TO HAVE A BABY ABROAD ...             
 

 

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
  
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

  

 

 

LAYLA : OUR INTERVIEWEE OF MARCH 2002
 
 
Layla is a young woman in her thirties. She is British and moved in Toulouse,France, for business, six years ago. She is Daniel's mom.
 
 
Was it difficult to be pregnant in France far from home and from your family?
I did not find it too difficult being away from family. I am not very close to my family. I had a lot of support from friends that had been pregnant and had their babies in France.
 
Did you choose to be followed by a gynaecologist or by a mid-wife?
 I had the best gynaecologist! I would have no hesitation to recommend him to anybody. He dealt with my fears and stupid questions professionally and with excellent humour. He was excellent throughout and has the patience of a saint! He is Dr Guillaume KOBUCH, 33 bd Lascrosses, Toulouse, 05 61 29 08 34.
 
 Did you find a lot of differences between the French medical system and the British one?
As Daniel was my first baby, I do not have any experience of the British system. I also think to a greater extent, that I had excellent care under the French system because I have good health insurance (mutuelle).
 
Did you find an English speaking doctor and/or mid-wife? Could you give me his/her name in order to add it in my list?
As stated in answer 3: Dr Guillaume KOBUCH, 33 bd Lascrosses, Toulouse, 05 61 29 08 34. The mid-wife came recommended by Dr Kobuch and was Veronica BONPAIX, Preparation a la Naissance Ambroise Pare, 2 r Corneille, 05 61 43 71 16. She did the antenatal course in English, which she spoke very well.
 
Could you tell us how you choose your maternity hospital or clinic? Did you visit some delivery rooms? Was there a unit for prem.?
 I was under the care of Dr Kobuch and he delivers at Ambroise Pare, so I did not actually choose the clinic, but chose the doctor.
 
Did you follow the French programme " accouchement sans douleur" which is several courses about childbirth. The courses are given by a mid-wife and the aim is to demystify the delivery and to explain how to breathe during the labor....
 I do not think I followed the «accouchement sans douleur» program, but Veronica, the mid-wife, was into natural births and alternative healing methods. I believe she did yoga and gave very good advice.
Did your husband attend the courses?
Yes, he did. I think he initially attended them because I insisted on it. He found them very informative and was able to freely ask questions he would normally would not have been able to. He would now say that he was glad he attended and has understood the birthing process all the better for it. At least he knew what I was going through and was able to assist where possible.
 
Where did you deliver? How did you find the staff? Did the staff try to speak slowly to help you understand them?
I delivered at Clinic Ambroise Pare. Most of the staff were excellent. I think they did try to take their time when speaking with us.
 
Could you narrate how you went into labour : was it during the day or the night? Was Mark panic or well-prepared? How did you feel ? Worried, afraid, or calm?
I did not go into labour in the conventional way. I had an appointment with Dr Kobuch. After he examined me, he said that I was 2cm dilated and would go into labour quite soon. He suggested that I could go into hospital and get induced. This would shorten the time to delivery. We agreed I would go in the next day, so in a way I was glad that it took the worry of when to go into hospital? am I really in labour? guess-work and into a more orderly delivery.
I think I was outwardly calm, but inside I was intensely worried, as anybody would be going through labour for the first time. You just don’t know what to expect, no matter how many people you speak to beforehand. I would imagine that everyone’s experience is different. My main thoughts and confidence came from the knowledge that I was in the best hands with Dr Kobuch.
 
How long did the whole labour last? Did your maternity hospital have a birthing pool? Did you have the opportunity to bathe during the labour?
My labour lasted 24 hours. The hospital did have a birthing pool but it was not working at the time. The hospital did not let you deliver in the pool, so I was not too keen to use it.
 
Did you opt for the epidural anaesthesia or did you choose to deliver without a pain reliever ?
I must admit that I was not brave enough to try to deliver without pain relief. I have this thing about pain and trying to avoid it! I knew that the safest pain relief for the baby was an epidural, so I asked for it as soon as possible. I think the hospital staff were quite happy with this as it makes their job easier. Once the epidural was given I could not get out of bed and walk around. Perhaps walking around would have helped quicken the labour, I don’t know. The only thing was that the epidural did not work too well. It only relieved the pain on one side. Apparently this can happen and the mid-wives had to keep topping it up.
 
 Did you deliver by a caesarean or by natural way?
I really wanted to deliver Daniel naturally, but after 24 hours of labour, Dr Kobuch suggested it would be better to deliver by emergency caesarean. Daniel’s head had not descended far enough and he was getting distressed.
 
What was the delivery like?
The caesarean was very frightening. Thankfully, I don’t remember very much of it and it happened relatively quickly. They took me into the operating theatre to prepare me and Mark had to wait outside during this time. They strapped my arms down and put my legs to the stir-ups. The anaesthetist gave me a spinal block. Mark was brought in just before I was cut. They had put up a screen so that we could not see what they were doing, more for our benefit than anything, I think. The spinal block made my whole body convulse and shake. It also made me sick. Eventually, Dr Kobuch pulled Daniel out. He did not cry at first and Mark told me after that he thought the worst at that point. But, miraculously, he began to cry and has never looked back. They had to take him away to warm him up and finish me off. I did get to see him briefly before he went away with Mark. That relief he was there and seemed to be ok was incredible. Once they finished the caesarean, I was taken to see Daniel. They told me he scored 10/10 on the Apgar Scale. Unfortunately, I had to go to the post-op recovery room. I think would be my only complaint about the hospital. They took me to the recovery room after seeing Daniel only for a couple of minutes and due to disorganisation or staff shortages, I stayed there for more than 4 hours. Every time they phone to get someone to move me to my room, they did not appear. I really resented that time away from Daniel and Mark. The first few hours are very important especially for mother and child. It is time I will not get back and for something as needless as poor organisation.
 
Did you know you were waiting for a boy?
No, we didn’t want to know the sex of the baby until the birth. To us, it really didn’t matter. During the birth there was a bit of confusion as the anaesthetist was trying to speak English to us while all the action was going on. He only spoke a few words and very badly. When Daniel was born both Mark and I heard some one (we think the anaesthetist) shout out «it’s a girl!». As Daniel was whisked away, Dr Kobuch asked what we were going to name the baby to which I said «Sophie». Everything was silent, then Dr Kobuch said «you do know it’s a boy?». I tried to explain that we heard … he said «trust me, I have a medical degree, it’s a boy!». The first thing that Mark said to me was «it’s a boy, it’s a boy!»

We took a long time to have Daniel. I had a few miscarriages and problems, so we were trying for about eight years. He was very wanted and has not for one moment disappointed us. We could not have asked for a better child.
 
  Did your husband attend the delivery? Did he cut the umbilical cord? Did he give Daniel his first bath just after the delivery?
Mark was there for the delivery. As I stated before, I was not there for the first few hours. Mark was ever so sweet. He said he could not take his eyes off Daniel. The mid-wife asked him if he would like to hold him. He said it felt like all Christmases rolled into one. He was there while they bathed Daniel for the first time.
 
How long did you stay at the hospital?
I stayed in hospital for 7 days.
 
Did you breastfeed Daniel?
Yes, I did breastfeed Daniel. As I suffered from eczema during pregnancy and eczema runs in Mark’s family, I terrified that Daniel would suffer from it. I believe that it has been shown that eczema was less likely in breastfed babies than those who were bottle fed. I had loads of problems with over leaking and mastitis. I am so pleased I stuck with it as it is so much easier once you get the hang of it. I fed Daniel for 7 months.
 
How was your return at home?
I think physically I could have done with being in hospital a little longer. My stitches were very sore and having the nurses there as backup was comforting. We thought we were lucky to have a baby who cried so quietly. Little did we know that his lungs were not up to their full decibel capabilities. Once we got home his colic started. That was pretty hard. Fortunately, I had the excellent support of a British mid-wife, without whom I think I would have gone crazy. Kay Brett was a god-sent! My company recognises the fact that we are away from home and the support we would expect in Britain. Fortunately for the ladies who work for BAE SYSTEMS or are partners/wives of those who do, there was a British qualified midwife (Kay Brett) who was employed by the company to support new mums. This is where I would say the British system is better with the after hospital support. A mid-wife usually visits for 6 weeks after the birth. Then a health visitor takes over. They usually weigh the baby and help with any problems during the first 6 months.
 
What were the reactions of your both families? Did they come to see you during your pregnancy and after the delivery? Were they sad that you delivered abroad?
I am not close to my family, but Mark’s parents were involved. Fortunately for them, Daniel was their second grandchild, so the pressure on us was not that